Communication Tips Wednesday [4]:
Type 1 (Striving to feel Perfect)
Type 1s focus on doing things “the right way”: they scan for errors, gaps, and broken rules, driven by an internal pressure to improve themselves, others, and the environment.
This precision is a strength, but when overdone, it turns into chronic criticising and resentment that strains relationships.
Tips for Type 1s:
- Notice when your attention jumps straight to what is wrong and skips what is working. This comes from striving to feel perfect, not from being a bad person, but others mostly feel the criticism, not the intention.
- Try deliberately naming two things that are okay or good before offering one suggestion. Pay attention to tone: repeated “helpful corrections” often land as nagging or coldness, especially at home.
- Before you speak, ask, “Is this really necessary now, and can I say it briefly without a lecture?” Sometimes, letting something be “good enough” protects the relationship more than fixing it.
Tips for communicating with Type 1s:
- Acknowledge their effort and integrity before raising issues: “I see how much you care about doing this properly; can we also look at…?” This lowers their defensiveness and reduces the need to double down on being right.
- Be specific and fair in feedback; vague criticism confirms their fear of being fundamentally wrong.
- When possible, frame adjustments as shared problem‑solving (“How can we tweak this together?”) instead of pointing out flaws from a distance.
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