The 2D Enneagram

  Communication Tips Wednesday [6]: Type 3 (Striving to feel Outstanding)    Type 3s focus on achievement, efficiency, and being successful: they scan for opportunities to excel, impress, and make things happen, driven by a strong pull to feel outstanding, capable, and valued for their results. When overdone, this can slide into image management, self-promotion, and cutting corners, which can strain trust and authenticity in relationships.   Tips for Type 3s:   Stay aware of your tendency to focus on results and image - your real value isn’t just in what you achieve, but in who you are. Practice being more authentic and personal in conversations: share something that matters to you, not just something that makes you look good. Let people see your real challenges, not just your successes. Make space to reveal more about yourself, including your feelings, doubts, and vulnerabilities. This builds deeper trust and connection, not just admiration. If you find yourse...

  Myth Monday [6]: Type 8   Myth: “People don’t like Type 8 women because they’re ‘too strong.’”   Reality: Type 8s are often seen as honest, outgoing, fun-loving, and strong-willed, and these traits are not inherently rejected by society, regardless of sex. In fact, self-confident, direct women are generally respected and valued.   The real friction comes from the excesses of the 8 pattern: bluntness, recklessness, arrogance, and being domineering. These behaviours are hard to be around in anyone, regardless of sex, and are not excused just because someone is “strong.”   So, the issue isn’t strength or confidence, it’s about the impact of the 8 style when it tips into being harsh, excessive, or dismissive. 8s don’t need to apologize for being strong; they do need to own the effects of their style and avoid the excesses that would create friction in any personality type.   #the2denneagram #enneagram #enneagramtype8

  Calling the Enneagram “sacred” causes more problems than it solves.     No single, untouchable Enneagram   What is often spoken of as “the Enneagram” is not one fixed revelation but a family of evolving models. Ichazo’s early work was already a constructed system, and since then Naranjo, Palmer, Ochs, Almaas, Maitri, Rohr, Riso & Hudson, Chestnut and many others have added, removed, and reframed elements in quite different ways. If any of this is “sacred,” which version gets that status, and why that one rather than the others?   Even core pieces such as the passions/vices show how improvised the tradition is. The historical seven deadly sins were retrofitted to a nine‑point diagram; an extra “Fear” was created for type 6, and type 3 oscillates between “Vanity” and “Deceit” depending on the author.   Each term then needs a list of caveats: Lust “but not mainly about sex,” Gluttony “mostly about experiences,” Sloth “but not simple laziness, more a slee...

  Playful Friday [5]: Type 2   Type 2s strive to feel connected: they scan for needs, feelings, and opportunities to help, driven by a strong pull to feel close, appreciated, and wanted.   Type 2: Likely to say:   “I have a gift of knowing what the other person wants to hear and be appreciated about.” “I feel better when I’m making someone else’s day.” “I focus on what we have in common, not what sets us apart.” “I might get jealous if someone else gets all the attention, especially if I feel I’ve done more.” “You don’t want to connect with me? We’ll see about that.” “Why don’t you want to do it for me? I would do it for you.” “I get my sense of identity by who I’m connected to.” “I take pride in bringing people together, and the more important these people are, the greater is my satisfaction.”   Type 2: Unlikely to say:   “Other people’s needs are none of my business.” “I prefer to stay emotionally detached from everyone.” “I never think about whether peop...

  Communication Tips Wednesday [5]:    Type 2 (Striving to feel Connected)   Type 2s focus on creating and maintaining emotional bonds: they scan for needs, feelings, and opportunities to help, driven by a strong pull to feel connected, appreciated, and wanted.   When overdone, this can slide into overstepping boundaries, emotional intensity, and doing too much for others while neglecting themselves.   Tips for Type 2s:   Before jumping in, pause and ask: “Do you want help, or do you just want me to listen?” This simple question respects boundaries and still honours your impulse to support. Notice when your emotional reactions escalate: hurt, anger, or guilt when others don’t respond as you hoped. Take a breath and check: “Am I reacting to what they actually said, or to a story about not being appreciated?” Limiting the drama at the moment protects the connection you care so much about. Tips for communicating with Type 2s: Offer clear, personal apprec...

  Myth Monday [5]: “Fours rebel just to be different and attract attention.”   Reality: Many Fours describe starting from a deep sense of being fundamentally flawed or “missing something,” not from a desire to shock for its own sake. Like Ones, they feel something is wrong; but while Ones try to fix it by striving to feel more perfect, Fours often lean into it, explore it, and organise their identity around it.   This is where the focus on uniqueness comes from: constant comparison can reinforce a story of “I can never be normal and happy like other people,” which then gets expressed as visible difference, shifting aesthetics, or “trying on” identities in the search for who they really are. What can look from the outside like random rebellion or drama is often an earnest attempt to live honestly with an inner sense of lack and to find meaning that fits their experience.     #the2denneagram #enneagram #enneagramtype4

  The Enneagram symbol is a useful map, not a sacred object.   A symbol, not a shrine   The Enneagram meet‑up in London (I attended in September) treated the symbol almost like a devotional object: drawing it, gazing at it, and being invited to “appreciate its cosmic beauty.” The implication was that the diagram itself holds some deep, mystical truth about the universe. For anyone interested in practical change in real relationships, this can feel less like psychology and more like a cult ritual. The risk is that attention drifts from “How do I use this to live and relate better?” to “How do I revere the shape of this diagram?”   Used sanely, the symbol is just a map: nine points, three instinctual emphases, and some helpful connections. Knowing which other strategies your type is linked to can be useful; beyond that, staring at lines and talking about “cosmic geometry” adds more heat than light. When the form becomes the focus, the map starts replacing the territory...

  Playful Friday [4]: Type 1   Type 1, striving to feel perfect: they notice mistakes, gaps, and imperfections, and want to fix them, often starting with themselves.   Type 1: Likely to say:   “I can’t relax until everything is in its place.” “I just want to do the right thing, but sometimes I get stuck in the details.” “If I’m not careful, I’ll end up lecturing everyone about the best way to do things.” “I know I should be more flexible, but I can’t help it when things feel wrong.” “I’m not nagging, I’m just trying to make sure we don’t make the same mistake again.” “Why is it always me who cares?” “If I have too much fun, I might lose control.”   Type 1: Unlikely to say:   “I don’t mind making mistakes, they’re just part of the learning process.” “I never care what other people think of me; if I make a social gaffe, we’ll just laugh it off together.” “I don’t mind if things are a bit messy or if we cut corners.” “I never notice when something is wrong or ...

  Communication Tips Wednesday [4]:   Type 1 (Striving to feel Perfect)   Type 1s focus on doing things “the right way”: they scan for errors, gaps, and broken rules, driven by an internal pressure to improve themselves, others, and the environment. This precision is a strength, but when overdone, it turns into chronic criticising and resentment that strains relationships.   Tips for Type 1s:   Notice when your attention jumps straight to what is wrong and skips what is working. This comes from striving to feel perfect, not from being a bad person, but others mostly feel the criticism, not the intention. Try deliberately naming two things that are okay or good before offering one suggestion. Pay attention to tone: repeated “helpful corrections” often land as nagging or coldness, especially at home. Before you speak, ask, “Is this really necessary now, and can I say it briefly without a lecture?” Sometimes, letting something be “good enough” protects the relation...

  Myth Monday [4]: “Sevens are reckless party animals”   Myth: “Type 7s just jump from party to party and never get tired.”   Truth: Many Sevens feel a strong internal pressure to keep things light and positive for everyone, which is exhausting. Leaving the party can mean they are done holding up the mood and need to withdraw to recharge, not that they are off to the next round of fun.   Behind the upbeat style, Sevens often carry a sharp eye for what’s missing or not working, especially at home or in close relationships. When things “aren’t as they should be,” they can become critical or nagging, because they know they cannot truly relax and enjoy themselves until the basics are in place.     #the2denneagram #enneagram #enneagramtype7

  When using the Enneagram for self‑assessment, biases can quietly distort everything, especially confirmation bias.   One behaviour is just a data point.    Confirmation bias is the tendency to notice and remember evidence that fits what we already believe, and to ignore what doesn’t.    Applied to the Enneagram, this can look like:   “I did something assertive once, so I must be an 8,” or “I cried today, so I can’t be a 5.”   In reality, any single behaviour is just a data point, not proof for or against a type. Every pattern can be kind, angry, organised, messy, emotional, or detached at times; what matters is what keeps repeating.   Another trap is a “No True Scotsman” move:    “No true 4 would do that,” “A real 9 never gets angry,” etc.    This protects our idea of the type instead of updating it in light of actual people, and turns the Enneagram into a closed system where counter‑examples are always explained away. ...

  Playful Friday [3]:   Today’s theme: Transmitters .   Transmitters are tuned to impact, intensity, and being noticed, often in a push‑pull with self‑care, and with very little patience for slow group politics.   Transmitter: Likely to say   “If we’re doing this, let’s make it memorable.” “I don’t just want to be there; I want to have an impact.” “If I’m excited about something, everyone will know within five minutes.” “I’m drawn to intense one‑to‑one conversations; small talk bores me.” “Oh, I know I should work out and take care of my health, so I look and feel my best… but it takes so much time away from everything else I want to do.” (push–pull with Preserving) “I really should sort my money and practical life so I can go bigger, but spreadsheets kill my vibe.” (push–pull with Preserving) “When it comes to office politics, I’m out. Just tell me who I need to talk to and let me get on with it.” (aversion to Navigating) “Why would I waste time figuring out wh...

  Communication Tips Wednesday [3]: Transmitters   Transmitters focus on impact, intensity, and being noticed: who’s lit up, what’s exciting, and where they can leave a mark.     Tips for Transmitters:   Notice when you turn the volume up without realising it: talking more than listening, steering everything back to your stories, projects, or feelings. Deliberately pause and ask, “And you?” to keep connection mutual. Use your drive for impact to support the basics: health, money, and maintenance become more interesting when you see them as fuel for a bigger stage or project, not as limits on your freedom.   Tips for communicating with Transmitters:   Bond over transmitting themes: passion projects, big ideas, desires, creativity, attraction, risk, bold moves, what they want to build or express. They come alive with eye contact, intensity, and conversations that feel vivid and personal rather than abstract. Preserving topics can work well if framed in s...

  Myth Monday [3]:   “Ones just love criticising others”   Myth:  “Type 1s are mainly harsh and critical toward other people.”   Reality: Every type has some version of an inner critic, and from the outside no one can measure whose is “loudest.”   What can be said is that many Ones report a very strong internal pressure to live up to their own standards, and they often turn that pressure on themselves first.   For Ones, this comes from a deep drive to strive to feel perfect: doing the right thing, the right way. When life (inevitably) falls short of that ideal, they can feel a background resentment that things are not as they should be, and that tension easily leaks out as nagging, coolness, or criticism toward others.     #the2denneagram #enneagram #enneagramtype1

  Whether the Enneagram is “scientific” depends on what is meant by that word, but it can still be used in a disciplined, testable way.   Do models have to be scientific?   Plenty of tools are useful without being born in a lab or backed by decades of formal studies. Everyday examples include: Weather forecasts people use that are based on imperfect models but still guide decisions. Economic or market forecasts that help planning even though they are not exact sciences. Many coaching and leadership frameworks that are descriptive maps of behaviour rather than strict scientific theories. The Enneagram, understood as a descriptive model of patterns, belongs more in this “useful map” category than in the same box as, say, a medical diagnostic test.    Using the scientific method with the Enneagram.    Even if the Enneagram was not originally “based on science”, it can still be approached with a scientific attitude. Karl Popper argued that what makes somet...

  Playful Friday [2]:   Today’s theme: Navigators.   Navigators are tuned in to group dynamics, status, and unspoken rules: “Who’s here, how do they relate, and where do I fit?”   Navigator: Likely to say   “Wait, who’s coming, and how do they all know each other?” “I just want to understand the dynamics before I jump in.” “I’m fine to sit back and watch for a bit; I’m mapping the room.” “I keep mental notes of who gets along with whom… it’s useful.” “If we invite them, how will that shift the vibe of the group?” “I don’t need to be centre stage, but I like knowing what’s going on behind it.” “I’m not gossiping, I’m gathering data.” “I feel better when I know where I stand with people.” “I know I should care more about money and maintenance, but I get bored with all that ‘nest admin’.”    Navigator: Unlikely to say   “I never think about what other people think of me.” “Groups are just random individuals; I don’t really notice any patterns.” “I ha...

  Communication Tips Wednesday [2]:   Navigators focus on people, patterns, and place in the group: who’s connected to whom, what the mood is, and how everyone fits into the bigger picture.   Tips for Navigators:   Notice when you are replaying conversations and ranking people (and yourself) in your head; this comes from your drive to understand trust, status, and influence. Try turning some of that analysis into direct, clean conversations instead of silent comparison. Give yourself permission to share more of your perspective, not just commentary on others. Your insight into group dynamics is valuable, but people also need to hear what you actually want or feel.   Tips for communicating with Navigators:   Bond over navigating topics: talk about how groups work, who connects well with whom, community issues, culture, unwritten rules, “how things really operate around here.” This is their natural language. Keep an eye on reputation and inclusion when you sp...